Reflection
Jan 28, 2006 17:50:41 GMT
Post by Yuri on Jan 28, 2006 17:50:41 GMT
((OOC: Written primarily as a solo post to flesh out my character, this thread kinda gives some insight into more of his past, and how he acts and thinks, as well as set up something for him later on. So sit back, kick up your feet, and enjoy. It's not real long.))
The dull sound of raindrops hitting glass echoed through the dark and quiet hotel room. Each drop that connected with the lone window added its input into the symphony. An orchestra for one person; Yuri, sitting on the windowsill, stared out of the window at the sky, sighing softly.
He missed being home. This world was great, but far from what suited him; it wasn't his place to be here. His place was back home, where people relied on him.
He ran his hand through his hair, a gesture that only indicated his stress level as he stared at his own reflection in the window. His face looked horrible; tear-streaked and dirty, with the occasional small burn or scratch to indicate what he had gone through earlier that day.
He sighed again, looking down at the rest of his body. Scars were everywhere; each one seemed to symbolize a particular event or memory that he couldn't live down; each injury proving to him that he was far from flawless.
No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't get past the past. He missed how things used to be.
More than anything, though, he missed his family.
It was strange, really. Even though they had been gone for over half his life, the mere thought of them still wrenched his heart and drove a spike through it. In a way, he blamed himself for what happened - if he had been stronger, or faster, or more determined...maybe things would have been different.
Nothing is ever easy, he thought to himself as he rose, heading over to the bathroom, where a hot bath awaited him.
With a disgruntled sigh, he closed the door to the bathroom as he walked in, and tossed the towel around his waist on the curtainrod above him.
His life was a jumbled mess of chaotic thoughts, sometimes. It was all he could do to keep his head above the water, and to try to be strong. Sometimes, though, they just...got the better of him.
He lost control of himself in the first round - he gave into the bloodlust. Gave into his instincts, and his bloodlust.
It was strange, really. In a deep, dark part of himself...he enjoyed being in that position. It reminded him of what he used to be, back when he was a bounty hunter. Always riding life ten steps at a time, without looking back or thinking ahead. Living in the present.
His father had taught him that, long ago. By now, it was habit to just...fall back on it.
A part of him, however, was afraid of going back to something like that. Afraid that becoming the person he used to be might change things irrevocably.
He didn't want to become the demon he used to be; he couldn't. The man he used to be killed people just because someone paid him to do it. Sure, the target was always in the wrong, or was dishonorable in his intentions, but the fact remained that it was nothing but senseless killing. He was simply a tool to be paid for by the highest bidder.
He sighed again, closing his eyes, and letting his body relax in the hot water.
I think...I'm beginning to feel a little less human.
The dull sound of raindrops hitting glass echoed through the dark and quiet hotel room. Each drop that connected with the lone window added its input into the symphony. An orchestra for one person; Yuri, sitting on the windowsill, stared out of the window at the sky, sighing softly.
He missed being home. This world was great, but far from what suited him; it wasn't his place to be here. His place was back home, where people relied on him.
He ran his hand through his hair, a gesture that only indicated his stress level as he stared at his own reflection in the window. His face looked horrible; tear-streaked and dirty, with the occasional small burn or scratch to indicate what he had gone through earlier that day.
He sighed again, looking down at the rest of his body. Scars were everywhere; each one seemed to symbolize a particular event or memory that he couldn't live down; each injury proving to him that he was far from flawless.
No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't get past the past. He missed how things used to be.
More than anything, though, he missed his family.
It was strange, really. Even though they had been gone for over half his life, the mere thought of them still wrenched his heart and drove a spike through it. In a way, he blamed himself for what happened - if he had been stronger, or faster, or more determined...maybe things would have been different.
Nothing is ever easy, he thought to himself as he rose, heading over to the bathroom, where a hot bath awaited him.
With a disgruntled sigh, he closed the door to the bathroom as he walked in, and tossed the towel around his waist on the curtainrod above him.
His life was a jumbled mess of chaotic thoughts, sometimes. It was all he could do to keep his head above the water, and to try to be strong. Sometimes, though, they just...got the better of him.
He lost control of himself in the first round - he gave into the bloodlust. Gave into his instincts, and his bloodlust.
It was strange, really. In a deep, dark part of himself...he enjoyed being in that position. It reminded him of what he used to be, back when he was a bounty hunter. Always riding life ten steps at a time, without looking back or thinking ahead. Living in the present.
His father had taught him that, long ago. By now, it was habit to just...fall back on it.
A part of him, however, was afraid of going back to something like that. Afraid that becoming the person he used to be might change things irrevocably.
He didn't want to become the demon he used to be; he couldn't. The man he used to be killed people just because someone paid him to do it. Sure, the target was always in the wrong, or was dishonorable in his intentions, but the fact remained that it was nothing but senseless killing. He was simply a tool to be paid for by the highest bidder.
He sighed again, closing his eyes, and letting his body relax in the hot water.
I think...I'm beginning to feel a little less human.