The Old Man goes shopping
Nov 2, 2005 8:03:29 GMT
Post by barnibusquentin on Nov 2, 2005 8:03:29 GMT
((OOC: I thought this might be good for a little bit of a laugh. Enjoy anyone, and feel free to jump in at the end if you want))
Barnibus opened the glass doors to the busy mall and stepped into the coolness beyond. Immediately he was battered by the sound and bustle of a busy Saturday afternoon in a sprawling urban shopping complex. The Old Man wandered through the place, staring in awe at the glass fronted stores, showing off everything from enormous televisions to stylish men’s wear.
For a long while Barnibus wandered through the enormous mall looking for a certain store. He glanced down at the scribbled note he’d been carrying most of the day.
The words: “Big D’s Sporting Goods and Shoes” were scrawled in spidery black ink on the back of a crumpled receipt. The Old man looked about, searching for the store, but it wasn’t visible, so he continued wandering; his mind churned over the events since the return from Volgondia as he did.
It was so strange, to Barnibus, the way the warriors of Eden acted. They returned victorious from a great battle; they had saved an entire world. And yet, when they arrived back on Eden, each simply dispersed to their respective corners of the planet, without so much as even a “congratulations” or a “good work team.” It seemed the Old Man, was more out of place here than he thought, or at least, he didn’t understand the way the ragtag group of refugees from across the galaxy thought here.
A young man bumped into Barnibus, his hair was gelled up into enormous spikes and died yellow and green. The boy wore tight fitting jeans covered in drawings and a leather jacket graffitied with various slogans and studded with small silver points, that looked like a mass of small shiny ants were crawling over his skin.
“Watch out Fogie” the boy said.
Barnibus chuckled, “Nice hair young’un,” the boy turned and walked away, “Hey, wait! Can you tell me where this store is” Barnibus called, holding out the piece of paper to the punk.
The boy turned back and grabbed the paper, “Big D’s, ha! What’s an oldie like you doing there?”
“Buying shoes”
The kid looked down at Barnibus’s threadbare footwear, “Whoa man those are shoes are sick. Down the hall, left look for a big neon D.” he said and walked away. Barnibus followed his instructions and, again, became lost in his thoughts.
Not quite sure what to do he had wandered away from the tower that day, found some food, a sheltered place to sleep and hoped the dreams would tell him what to do. But, they didn’t come that night. Nor the next one. Nor the one after that. Barnibus hid out in the wilderness for nearly three weeks, barely existing. He’d stay awake just long enough to get food for the day, and then go back to sleep. Still the dreams didn’t come.
Eventually Barnibus had given up and went from that place thoroughly dejected, and lost. The visions had guided him here, helped him to Volgondia; and now, they had abandoned him. After a time he found himself standing on the side of a roadway that stretched to the ends of vision in both directions. A car stopped. The driver, a woman in her late thirties opened the passenger-side door and offered him a ride into town. In a sleepy stupor the Old Man got in. The lady closed the door and drove off, and as the approached a large city, began to ask Barnibus all sorts of questions, which he answered distractedly.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“I need shoes,” he replied and she nodded, dropped him off in front of the enormous mall and handed him the crumpled paper with the store name on it.
Barnibus found himself standing bathed in the cheesy red light of an enormous plastic red letter ‘D’. Around it were the words ‘Big’ and ‘Sporting Goods and Shoes’ Nodding to himself that this was the place he walked casually into the store and was immediately molested by two beefy young men in tight striped shirts with whistles around their necks.
“Afternoon sir, welcome to Big D’s home of the best sporting goods in town. Is there something I can help you with?”
“Hey, nice…robe there, you look like you could use some new sports clothes. We have the new Zeus ex dee five thousand track pants just in. Or maybe the Adiden Pro Wind Breaker two point oh.”
Barnibus shook his head, taken aback by their enthusiasm.
“Shoes,” he replied.
“Excellent great idea Sir, it looks like you could definitely use some new shoes, those…what model are those? Look like they’re gettin’ on.”
Barnibus allowed himself to be led by the two strapping young men to a wall two storeys tall and covered with a countless variety of shoes. One of the young men scaled a nearby ladder to the top and tossed a pair of green high-top shoes down to his partner.
“how’s these?” he asked.
Barnibus began to answer but was interrupted by a call from the top of the ladder.
“Eh, Brad! You gotta ask him what he’s gonna do in them.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. What do you need your shoes for?”
Barnibus was puzzled, “Walking, what else do you use shoes for?”
“Oh, man, this guy’s great. Tom, toss me down a pair of Zeus Wind Walkers.”
The employee on the ladder climbed higher and reached for a pair of bright red shoes and tossed them down to his associate. “How ‘bout these?” Brad asked.
The shoes were fire engine red and made from some imitation leather. The laces were of a pearly white, and crisscrossed down to the toes, where they wound through a large plush logo of two crossed check-marks. The heel was tipped by a number of rubberized ‘shock absorbers’ or that was what Brad called them. They were supposed to make it easier to walk. And, around the bottom edge of the shoe was a line of tiny red LED lights that blinked on and off when the wearer walked.
Barnibus was pushed down into a chair, his old shoes were removed and tossed in a garbage can, and the new pair was forced onto his wrinkled feet. He flexed his toes and took a few tentative steps. Comfy. They seemed to add a spring to his step. But that’s not what sold him. It was the blinking LED lights. He’d never seen anything like that in his life.
“Excellent, good stuff, here let’s go pay for these” Tom said and put his arm around Barnibus’s shoulder and led him to a plastic topped counter attended by a young woman, with too many piercings and a pair of head phones around her neck. She snapped bubble gum as she spoke.
“Hey there, did you find everything you needed today?” She asked, sounding thoroughly miserably.
Tom tossed a box onto the counter, and the lady scanned it. “That’ll be two hundred and forty two thirty three. Cash or card?”
Barnibus fumbled about in his pockets. “Card? Don’t have one of those.”
This was a bad thing to say. “You don’t have a card?” Brad said, not understanding. “Well, here. Jamie, get him a form.”
The lady behind the counter pulled out a thick wad of paper and began going through it making little X marks every so often and saying, “Sign here, initial here, put your name, your last name, sign here again, yep, another initial, and here, and here, and here.”
Barnibus followed along, stunned. When he had followed her instructions to the last she snapped up the wad of papers and handed him a square card of plastic.
“And, here’s your card,” she said. “Oh, and I nearly forgot. When you sign up for a Big D card you get a free complimentary gift. Here’s your electric wok.” Jamie reached under the counter and pulled out a cardboard box with a picture of some sort of complex contraption and the words ‘Acad Inc. Professional Electric Wok’ in jumbo print across its front. Barnibus picked up the box and was hurriedly pushed from the store with the parting words “Thank you for shopping at Big D’s. Home of all your sporting needs, have a nice day” being spoken by all three employees.
Barnibus shook his head, not exactly sure what had just happened. He looked at the cardboard box and the plastic card quizzically. He shrugged. At least he’d gotten his shoes. And, damn those little blinky light things were cool. The Old Man left the mall and breathed deep the semi-fresh city air, not sure where to go next.
Barnibus opened the glass doors to the busy mall and stepped into the coolness beyond. Immediately he was battered by the sound and bustle of a busy Saturday afternoon in a sprawling urban shopping complex. The Old Man wandered through the place, staring in awe at the glass fronted stores, showing off everything from enormous televisions to stylish men’s wear.
For a long while Barnibus wandered through the enormous mall looking for a certain store. He glanced down at the scribbled note he’d been carrying most of the day.
The words: “Big D’s Sporting Goods and Shoes” were scrawled in spidery black ink on the back of a crumpled receipt. The Old man looked about, searching for the store, but it wasn’t visible, so he continued wandering; his mind churned over the events since the return from Volgondia as he did.
It was so strange, to Barnibus, the way the warriors of Eden acted. They returned victorious from a great battle; they had saved an entire world. And yet, when they arrived back on Eden, each simply dispersed to their respective corners of the planet, without so much as even a “congratulations” or a “good work team.” It seemed the Old Man, was more out of place here than he thought, or at least, he didn’t understand the way the ragtag group of refugees from across the galaxy thought here.
A young man bumped into Barnibus, his hair was gelled up into enormous spikes and died yellow and green. The boy wore tight fitting jeans covered in drawings and a leather jacket graffitied with various slogans and studded with small silver points, that looked like a mass of small shiny ants were crawling over his skin.
“Watch out Fogie” the boy said.
Barnibus chuckled, “Nice hair young’un,” the boy turned and walked away, “Hey, wait! Can you tell me where this store is” Barnibus called, holding out the piece of paper to the punk.
The boy turned back and grabbed the paper, “Big D’s, ha! What’s an oldie like you doing there?”
“Buying shoes”
The kid looked down at Barnibus’s threadbare footwear, “Whoa man those are shoes are sick. Down the hall, left look for a big neon D.” he said and walked away. Barnibus followed his instructions and, again, became lost in his thoughts.
Not quite sure what to do he had wandered away from the tower that day, found some food, a sheltered place to sleep and hoped the dreams would tell him what to do. But, they didn’t come that night. Nor the next one. Nor the one after that. Barnibus hid out in the wilderness for nearly three weeks, barely existing. He’d stay awake just long enough to get food for the day, and then go back to sleep. Still the dreams didn’t come.
Eventually Barnibus had given up and went from that place thoroughly dejected, and lost. The visions had guided him here, helped him to Volgondia; and now, they had abandoned him. After a time he found himself standing on the side of a roadway that stretched to the ends of vision in both directions. A car stopped. The driver, a woman in her late thirties opened the passenger-side door and offered him a ride into town. In a sleepy stupor the Old Man got in. The lady closed the door and drove off, and as the approached a large city, began to ask Barnibus all sorts of questions, which he answered distractedly.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“I need shoes,” he replied and she nodded, dropped him off in front of the enormous mall and handed him the crumpled paper with the store name on it.
Barnibus found himself standing bathed in the cheesy red light of an enormous plastic red letter ‘D’. Around it were the words ‘Big’ and ‘Sporting Goods and Shoes’ Nodding to himself that this was the place he walked casually into the store and was immediately molested by two beefy young men in tight striped shirts with whistles around their necks.
“Afternoon sir, welcome to Big D’s home of the best sporting goods in town. Is there something I can help you with?”
“Hey, nice…robe there, you look like you could use some new sports clothes. We have the new Zeus ex dee five thousand track pants just in. Or maybe the Adiden Pro Wind Breaker two point oh.”
Barnibus shook his head, taken aback by their enthusiasm.
“Shoes,” he replied.
“Excellent great idea Sir, it looks like you could definitely use some new shoes, those…what model are those? Look like they’re gettin’ on.”
Barnibus allowed himself to be led by the two strapping young men to a wall two storeys tall and covered with a countless variety of shoes. One of the young men scaled a nearby ladder to the top and tossed a pair of green high-top shoes down to his partner.
“how’s these?” he asked.
Barnibus began to answer but was interrupted by a call from the top of the ladder.
“Eh, Brad! You gotta ask him what he’s gonna do in them.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. What do you need your shoes for?”
Barnibus was puzzled, “Walking, what else do you use shoes for?”
“Oh, man, this guy’s great. Tom, toss me down a pair of Zeus Wind Walkers.”
The employee on the ladder climbed higher and reached for a pair of bright red shoes and tossed them down to his associate. “How ‘bout these?” Brad asked.
The shoes were fire engine red and made from some imitation leather. The laces were of a pearly white, and crisscrossed down to the toes, where they wound through a large plush logo of two crossed check-marks. The heel was tipped by a number of rubberized ‘shock absorbers’ or that was what Brad called them. They were supposed to make it easier to walk. And, around the bottom edge of the shoe was a line of tiny red LED lights that blinked on and off when the wearer walked.
Barnibus was pushed down into a chair, his old shoes were removed and tossed in a garbage can, and the new pair was forced onto his wrinkled feet. He flexed his toes and took a few tentative steps. Comfy. They seemed to add a spring to his step. But that’s not what sold him. It was the blinking LED lights. He’d never seen anything like that in his life.
“Excellent, good stuff, here let’s go pay for these” Tom said and put his arm around Barnibus’s shoulder and led him to a plastic topped counter attended by a young woman, with too many piercings and a pair of head phones around her neck. She snapped bubble gum as she spoke.
“Hey there, did you find everything you needed today?” She asked, sounding thoroughly miserably.
Tom tossed a box onto the counter, and the lady scanned it. “That’ll be two hundred and forty two thirty three. Cash or card?”
Barnibus fumbled about in his pockets. “Card? Don’t have one of those.”
This was a bad thing to say. “You don’t have a card?” Brad said, not understanding. “Well, here. Jamie, get him a form.”
The lady behind the counter pulled out a thick wad of paper and began going through it making little X marks every so often and saying, “Sign here, initial here, put your name, your last name, sign here again, yep, another initial, and here, and here, and here.”
Barnibus followed along, stunned. When he had followed her instructions to the last she snapped up the wad of papers and handed him a square card of plastic.
“And, here’s your card,” she said. “Oh, and I nearly forgot. When you sign up for a Big D card you get a free complimentary gift. Here’s your electric wok.” Jamie reached under the counter and pulled out a cardboard box with a picture of some sort of complex contraption and the words ‘Acad Inc. Professional Electric Wok’ in jumbo print across its front. Barnibus picked up the box and was hurriedly pushed from the store with the parting words “Thank you for shopping at Big D’s. Home of all your sporting needs, have a nice day” being spoken by all three employees.
Barnibus shook his head, not exactly sure what had just happened. He looked at the cardboard box and the plastic card quizzically. He shrugged. At least he’d gotten his shoes. And, damn those little blinky light things were cool. The Old Man left the mall and breathed deep the semi-fresh city air, not sure where to go next.